‘Who am I?’ and ‘Where am I going with my life?’ and ‘What the hell happens next?’ – nothing forces you to answer those questions quite like a husband walking out on you when you’re 58. It’s 4 months ago today since he told me he was leaving, and it also happens to be our wedding anniversary. So this seems like a pretty good day to start blogging about it.
I’m not going to go into the details of why he left – that’s his story. Let’s just say that I’m left with what he left behind – and this is my story.
We were pretty well off – we had a big house, two decent cars and a nice little classic sports car for days out in the summer. Big holidays – Australia, most recently. If we wanted to go out for a meal, we went out for a meal. To complicate things a little, we were (still are) running a successful limited company together.
And then, well, then it wasn’t like that anymore. And I’m faced with the reality of not just life without my husband, but potentially having to sell my house and lose my job as well. And as for big cars and big holidays and meals out – forget it.
Please don’t feel sorry for me – I booked the removal van for him. But nevertheless, between thoughts of ‘How very dare he!’ and sighs of ‘Thank God for that’, I need to get on with all the stuff. Get on with MY life.
So – first, I needed to get organised. It’s what I do, it’s how I cope in a crisis. I made lists, I made spreadsheets. I needed to save, and I needed to find new sources of income, and I needed to do it quickly. I started to work out how much my life was costing me, and what I could reduce and what I could jettison completely. But before I did any of that, I bought myself a bunch of the brightest coloured flowers I could find, and I gave them to myself.
I’ve no idea how things will turn out. I don’t know if I’ll be able to find a job, or afford a holiday, or when the house will have to go on the market – but there’s a little part of me that is relishing the challenge. This woman will rise again. I will survive. Come with me for the ride – let’s see where it takes us. I’m 58, and I count.
Have a look at my other posts, to see how things are going!
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I always reply to comments from nice people.
Absolutely brilliant. I want the next instalment
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Thanks Jane!! No pressure then…
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You will be the Phoenix! More power to you!
I can relate on many levels.
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Thank you so much!! Hopefully I can bypass the ‘ashes’ stage of the Phoenix life cycle!!! It’s such a comfort to know that there are people out there who know what I’m talking about. xx
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Oh you definitely will conquer your life! You not only will succeed but will be stronger because of it! Don’t forget you are entitled to some of his pension! 😂🤣😂🤣
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Hellloooooo! Found you from MSE and you and I have chatted about lodgers etc. Brilliant blog.. were you a jounalist in another life?
Sending love and support Jan
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Thank you so much!!
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You have a great attitude which will take you far! And you deserve the flowers – well done.
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Thank you!!
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I love that you bought yourself flowers! It’s been 12 years since my divorce and there’s been times I thought I might end up homeless, but I made it and getting more stable all the time. You will get through this!! ❤
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Thank you!! There’s a lot to sort out yet, but we’re able to be civilised about it – so far so good. I love that you’ve been through what you’ve been through and yet you still have time to help other people. xx
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Thank-you. I love that you’re doing it too!! <3<3
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