Your relationship with yourself is the longest-term relationship you will ever have. Here’s how to show yourself that you care.
Real self-care is much, much more than taking time out for a spa day. It’s about really caring about yourself. Accepting yourself. Accepting that you matter. And not sabotaging yourself.
It’s extra important if you’re living alone or have no-one in your life to do the caring for you.
Self-care means doing the donkey work. It’s not glamorous. It’s taking the rubbish out, cooking the healthy food, cleaning the loo.
Self-care means staying in control. It means being in control of your bank balance. It means being in control of your diet. It means being in control of how much you drink on a Saturday night. It means keeping the promises you’ve made to yourself.
Self-care means doing what you know you need to do, even if you don’t want to. What’s wanting to do it got to do with it? If we all waited until we felt like it, nothing would ever get done.
Self-care is knowing that you are enough. Right here, right now. I don’t know what the future will hold – maybe one day I’ll meet someone new, but I can’t right now imagine ever wanting to link my life up with someone else again. Been there, done that. And I don’t need it.
Self-care means actually caring. For yourself. So in the absence of having someone to love me, I need to love myself. And I do. I care. I do all the things that I thought someone else was doing, until I realised I was wrong. I worry about myself. I’m proud of myself. I want what’s best for me.
And I do those little things that show I care. They may sound trivial, but they’re really not –
I put a tea bag in a mug on the bench, and water in the kettle, so all I have to do in the morning, or when I get in from work, is flick the kettle on. It sounds such a small thing, but it really does make me feel better – not quite the same as having someone make a cuppa, but definitely the next best thing.
I tidy up before I go to bed. I like the house to be tidy – and who else is going to do it? I appreciate it in the morning when I come downstairs and everything is put away.
Self-care means being honest with yourself. What things do you do that are no good for you? You need to admit it to yourself and make the changes.
Self-care is accepting that there is no-one but you that can do this. Trust yourself.
You’re in it for the long term.
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