But not to other people – we all know we should do that.
This is about being nice to ourselves. I think that’s harder.
In Why Should You Care I wrote about filling the kettle and putting a teabag in a mug so that when I get up in the morning or get in from work all I have to do is switch the kettle on. It’s nearly as good as having someone make it for me. It’s nice to come in from work and just have to flick the kettle on.
When I get in I’m grateful that Past Me did it for Future Me.
I do things that I know Future Me will thank me for.
I tidy up before I go to bed. I cook a proper chicken dinner once a week. I make my bed on a morning.
I like to come downstairs to a tidy living room and a tidy kitchen. A full chicken dinner with gravy and stuffing is one of my favourite meals. The bed making thing is influenced by the first part of this video on YouTube years ago. And also a phrase my mother used to use when I didn’t make my bed as a kid – ‘Ah well, ye’ll just have to snoot in the way ye snooted oot’ (she’s Scottish). I think I know what she meant.
So, it’s very simple really – you could even say it’s selfish. If I want X then I have to do Y. Or more accurately, if I want to have X in the future, then I need to do Y now. Now Me has to do something nice for Future Me.
If you care for someone then you do everything you can to make their life good. You actively look for ways to make them happy, or comfortable, or safe. You give them what they need.
And that’s what we need to do for ourselves too. What things make you feel happy? What things make you feel comfortable? What things make you feel safe? Do them, for you.
And if you care for someone, you don’t make them feel small, you don’t make them feel as if they’re not good enough, and you don’t make them feel useless.
So if there’s a voice in your head telling you that you’re not important, that you’re not good enough or that you’re useless, or anything else that you wouldn’t say to someone you love, tell it to shut the fuck up. Replace it with your own voice, telling yourself that you are important, you are good enough and you are very much needed.
It’s nice to be nice – and that includes being nice to ourselves.
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